Try

There were all the signs, all along,
I've told you every one
and yes, you're marvelous at denial,
it's alright.

I love you anyway [I think]?

You've watched me drop
and watched me climb,
I told you that I've never felt fine
and yet I know it's just
way too hard
to be okay with the life I've lived;
see, it's not yours it's mine.

I can reassure you that I'm
not suicidal
just
giving up on time-
you keep me here.

Am I allowed to hate you
for that?